Went to the Doc's today!

Discussion in 'General Airgun Chat' started by Nealsey, Mar 29, 2010.

  1. Nealsey

    Nealsey Two Tins

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    Newbury, Berkshire
    Having joined Quarry I have noticed over the last few weeks I have started to sing
    loads of 60's welsh originated songs.

    Went to the Dr's and he has diagnosed Ton Jones disease!

    I asked him if it's common and he told me "It's not unusual" :)

    Neal
     
  2. Knockedover

    Knockedover CSFTA Champ

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    Nr Portsmouth,Hampshire
    Don't worry about getting your coat mate...just go....


    :D:D
     
  3. Nealsey

    Nealsey Two Tins

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    Cheers Vin :)

    Bloke phones up the building dept of the local council and say's " I would like a skip outside my house"!

    Bloke from the council say's " Sounds a bit gay to me, but I am not stopping you"!

    Neal
     
  4. Knockedover

    Knockedover CSFTA Champ

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    A woman goes into a shop to buy a rod and reel as a gift

    She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter where there's a shop assistant wearing dark shades. "Excuse me sir" she says "can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"

    The assistant replies "Ma'am I'm blind but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."

    She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway.

    He said, "That's a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line...It's a good all around rod and reel and it's only £20.00".

    The lady said, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it."

    He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman breaks wind big-time. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her...being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

    The assistant rings up the sale and says, "That will be £25.50."

    She says, "But didn't you say it was £20.00?"

    "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is £20.00, but the duck call is £3.00, and the catfish stink bait is £2.50."

    :D:D:D
     
  5. Knockedover

    Knockedover CSFTA Champ

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    Apparently, these days Jewish Doctors don't get paid for circumcisions.

    They just keep the tips.



    :eek::eek::p:p:D
     
  6. Nealsey

    Nealsey Two Tins

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    Took my Rottweiler to the vets today.

    Vet say's " What's the problem"?

    Me " He's got bad breath".

    Vet picks him up and smells his breath.

    Vet say's, " I am going to have to put him down"!

    Me, "Why? Because he has bad breath?

    Vet, " No! Cause he is bloody heavy"!
     
  7. Knockedover

    Knockedover CSFTA Champ

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    a boy and his grandad go into the bookies, the boy says, "grandad? can i put a line on?" his grandad asks him,"can your cock touch your arse son?" to which the boy replies "no grandad" his grandad says "cant put a line on then" .
    as they're leaving the boy finds a new scratchcard, he scratches it and it reavels that he's won £10,000, in excitement he tells his grandad, his grandad then offers a split in the winnings, the boy says," grandad, can your cock touch your arse?" his grandad says proudly "yes son, yes it can" to which the boy replies.
    "Go f**k yourself then !"


    :D:D
     
  8. Knockedover

    Knockedover CSFTA Champ

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    A shrink was doing a therapy session with four young mums and their small kids.
    "You all have obsessions," he observed.
    To the first mum he said, "You're obsessed with food; you even named your child Candy."
    To the second, "You're obsessed with money, so you named your child Penny."
    The third, "Your obsession is alcohol hence you named your child Brandy."
    At this point the fourth mother quietly got up and took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, we're leaving!!"

    :D:D:D
     
  9. Scoch

    Scoch HOW!!!

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    Dundee, Scotland
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    Whats the difference between a battery and a woman?









    A battery has a positive side!!!
     
  10. steveggg

    steveggg Trainee Grumps

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    Read the title, and thought, birthday - 60 - must be after the Viagra, then it turns out to be a load of twaddel.
     
  11. Chris Coombes

    Chris Coombes The specialist

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    I went to the Dr today to have my cast removed from my hand ,and i asked him if i would be able to play the piano,he said of course you will,so i said that good because i couldn't play it before.
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2010

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